Friday, March 6, 2009

not my baby


See my happy boy?  He's always that cheery, that sweet, that clean.  He's angelic, really.  I mean, he never does any of the following things, and definitely not all in the span of one endless Friday.  He certainly doesn't invent a trick where he waits until he's laid down for a nap to poop, forcing me to return to his room for a change, despite the "no returning to the baby's room until naptime is over" rule.  He'd never repeat that trick during his next nap, this time adding a giggle when he sees me enter the room.  Then he would never kick his feet all over the place during the diaper change until his left foot lands squarely into the messy diaper I thought I'd set far out of his reach, then jerk that foot out of my hand and to the side, placing a big smear of you-know-what on the wall. He does not go on to fight both naps so fiercely that it takes 90 minutes to lull him into a nap that ends far before it should, and end up so overtired that he turns into a grizzly bear of a child by 4pm, one who reacts to his mom's attempt to read him a book by punching her square in the left eyeball (probably not intentional, but still) and acts like his exersaucer is a torture chamber when set inside so his mom could so something crazily self indulgent (a 60 second bathroom break).   He definitely never spits up bright orange butternut squash all down the front of his shirt just as we run into the store to pick up some Tylenol to fight the (tiny) fever he's got.  And at the checkout line, my son would never dream of grunting and straining with all his might so boisterously that everyone in check out lines 1-20 is well aware there's a pooping baby in the house.  And I'd never be "that mom"- the one who still thinks he's the cutest little bug in the place, bright red grunty face and stinky butt and barf smeared shirt and all. 

Not my boy.  He's perfect.  See?

6 comments:

Lisa said...

haha! sorry it was a rough day. but I've definitely been there! I was "that mom" with "that child" on an airplane a month ago... ugh! it's tough, but very humbling. :)

Crystal said...

Did he just start sitting really well or is he about to crawl? We always found Joseph to be a bear, particularly with sleep, when he hit a big milestone. I will warn you that crawling was BAD! I had two friends who kids started to crawl the same week Joseph did and we seriously went through hell together. Utter sleep refusal, temper tantrums, non-stop meltdowns. It took about 3 weeks but Joseph is now the most content baby he's ever been (which is saying something for my really fussy baby).

Anne said...

I have the foot in poop scenario happen at least once a day. Even if I throw the diaper away immediately, she still manages to kick her foot in it from across the room. I also enjoyed a similar spit-up incident, except with avocado. Which is a green as squash is orange.

sarah said...

You seriously have one of THE cutest babies I've ever seen. I secretly hope he never gets hair--I honestly can't imagine! Bald suits him.

Kaden said...

Oh Anderson! I can't wait to see you this summer!!! This post is way too funny!!

Lisa said...

You work so hard! Those pictures should be in a magazine.. what a gorgeous kid!