Clearly I realize I'm a mom. I've got a little person attached to my side and haven't gone to the bathroom in peace for a year. However, I like to think I'm a cool, young mom. I watch Gossip Girl, I read Elle, and my texting wpm is coming along nicely. I don't go to the mall in sweatpants. I refuse to listen to kiddie CDs in the car- A and I cruise along to the newest Britney or whatever I've most recently downloaded on iTunes. There will never be a mini van in my garage, mark my words. All that said, some days, the inherent uncoolness of motherhood overtakes. And today, because I'm feeling honest, I confess.....
1) I went to a
2) Christmas is a whole new experience this year now that I've got a child old enough to (sort of) grasp the concept. It's become less about decking my halls impeccably with Pottery Barn's entire line of new Christmas decor, less about throwing booze-fueled tacky Christmas sweater parties....and all about hunting down the hottest toys in town, filling the underneath of our (babyproofed, gated off) tree with things that will make little A's eyes light up this Christmas. One such object of my desire- the Fisher Price Little People Discovery Airport. The Mister loves his toy airplanes and other Little People sets, and this airport one just had his name written all over it. I had a Target coupon for $20 off of this $39 toy. I KNOW! That's like HALF! (Right? It is like half, right? I didn't do so well in math. Maybe it is half. Either way, it's $20!) Problem was, this toy was rumored to be in such high demand, especially after the release of this mega coupon, that my chances of getting one in my grubby mommy hands seemed slim. So yesterday, with my boys napping peacefully, I forfeited my own nap opportunity and ran off to Target. (And SWORE I was there for the toy and the toy ONLY!) I'd be lying if I said my heart wasn't beating a little faster as I approached the toy aisle. Then....there it was, sparkling on the shelf! The TOY! I grabbed it and sort of supressed the urge to jump up and down like I'd won a grandfather clock on The Price is Right. Maybe I bounced a little. And there may have been a teeny tiny squeal of victory that got me a side-eye from the lady down the aisle. I left feeling victorious and thrifty ..... though I did grab some face wash and gum and a Christmas CD. But STILL- well under $100!
But just so we're clear on my Christmastime frame of mind: I'm certainly not going to turn Santa away if he happens to arrive with, say, these sweater knit Ugg slippers I've been lusting over. It may be about Jesus first and Anderson second....but I've still got a pulse, people.
3) Those of you who have been following along since the old blog know the outlet mall is my special place. In the old days of sadness and tears, it was where I went to self-medicate, leaving with a smoking debit card and a car packed full of Pottery Barn outlet goods, a new outfit or two, perhaps some shoes. We went yesterday, and I bet you'll never guess where we spent 90% of our time and cash. Yep, Baby Gap. Mister A scored a huge bag of duds (for $52 during a big big sale with a big big coupon!) that will essentially make up his late fall and winter wardrobe. As I stood in the never ending line with my arms heaped full of stylish toddler clothes, I looked toward the grown up side and didn't feel even a twinge of wanting to shop for myself, so giddy was I about A's so-dorky-it's-not sweater vest and slouchy hoody sweatshirt. What did the adult portion of the family get on this retail outing? Um, one little decorative holiday bowl from the PBO, a couple of stockings to replace the ones the cat peed on last year, and some dish towels. Yup. Cool.
And though it was hard, we did manage to resist this Nordic hat. If anyone could have pulled it off, it would be A. He's got some of dat der Nort'Dakota blood in 'em, eh.
4) This one may tie in lameness with the sparkly shopping cart enthusiasm. I sniffed my son's butt in front of company, and didn't even think to be embarrassed until hours after. A few weeks ago, I invited some neighborhood moms over for a playdate. As one of the moms and I sat and chatted (about children's museums and the best shoes for early walkers, natch), I smelled something amiss in the playroom. Instinctually, without so much as a pause in the conversation, I scooped up A and sniffed his butt. In front of company. Like I'm a Labrador Retriever. Just. Not. Cool. Only later did I stop and think that I'd sniffed another human's butt in the presence of someone I barely knew. Not that sniffing butts is much better in front of people you really know well, but seriously. Oy.
So on a note unrelated to my uncoolness, I've got to brag about my very cool baby sister, the up and coming PR star. The one who definitely wouldn't notice new shopping carts at the store or know a Fisher Price Little People Discovery Airport from LAX, but who loves me anyway and doesn't judge me (to my face, at least). She had her first styling gig on this recent photo shoot for Covers magazine and I'm SO proud to see her name there in the credits! Ella Flynn better watch her back. (See? Another thing that makes me cool. I watch Melrose Place. The NEW one. Ha!) Anyway, congrats, sister- I'm sure it's the first of many big deal moments in your career!