See those pictures? That's how the whooooole day was! Shiny and carefree and perfectly orderly! Blue skies and chirping birdies!
Today: Nobody behaved like a drunken caveman at story time. (And certainly, nobody blew out a defiant fart when forced to sit down for the eighty fifth time at story time.) Nobody spit sippy cup water at the back of my head as I drove us home from that story time. Most definitely, when the sippy was yanked at the next stoplight, nobody threw a whole cup full of cheddar bunnies at the baby in her car seat in retaliation. Later, during so-called nap time, no poor little (gassy? overtired? just plain old cranky?) baby girl spent two HOURS crying frantically while her mommy tried to work and sobbed helpless tears to her husband on the phone when all the usual baby calming techniques failed to help the situation. Nope, no screaming baby girls like that here and certainly no sad and helpless mommies.
And while I'm being frank: the house is spotless, I'm showered and perfectly coiffed, there's a pot roast in the oven, and I most certainly did NOT drink a margarita in the backyard with a friend at 3pm (out of a glass cup that NOBODY shattered when NOBODY threw it onto the deck in a fit for NO GOOD REASON AT ALL). Nopers!
Just rainbows and puppy dogs and sparkles up in Mandieland.