Anyway. For the sake of posting something not depressing, I'll tell you this ... I think my kid is potty trained. KNOCK ON WOOD TIMES ONE MILLION. A few wise mothers who have walked the toddler path before us have told me that you get an easy pass on on of the following two things: 1) crib to bed transition or 2) potty training. Let's not get me started on the crib to bed transition, right? That wasn't our easy pass. GODHELPUS if it was. But potty training? Just kind of ... happened. Not to pat myself on the back, because we all know that then, all progress will unhappen in the blink of an eye, but I think the "wait until the kid is 100% ready" approach was the way to go. On Monday, faced with the unsavory likelihood of changing 2,592 diapers on what should have been a holiday but was just another working day around here, and ALSO faced with the idea of hauling my behind to Wally World for yet another box of diapers, and ALSO knowing the kid was ready as the day was long ... I told him a little fib. Just to see what would happen. I told Mister A his doctor had called, and she said he was too big for diapers now. He tilted his head and studied my face and I thought I was so busted, but then, THEN, he turned around and ran to the potty. And peed. And said "tell doctor!" Huh. Fluke? I thought so, but get this - it's now Friday, he's been in ElmoPants since Monday, and we've only had one accident. Total. And that happened when he was watching Sesame Street, which he loves like I love RHOBH, and sometimes I'd rather pee MY pants than take a break to use the bathroom. Okay, that accident tally only applies to the number ones, but hello? Go, Bug! No pee in my car, even! We shall not speak of what's going on with the number twos. Oh, who am I kidding, we shall too. Because I won't cough up a diaper no matter pleadingly he begs, he's started pooping outside. But you know what? He's not pooping in a diaper. And eventually (in two days) it's going to be snowy and cold here and I'm guessing the potty will seem a whole lot more enticing than the frozen tundra of a yard. Hopefully we nip the exhibitionist poos before then, but for now I feel pretty good about five entire days of dry underpants (-1).
Though I will say this ... if you're a germaphobe, get over it before your kid starts potty training. Because today alone, I've been in three public restrooms. Including one in ... wait for it ... Wally. And not just IN the bathroom, up close and personal with the toilet. Because how else do you help a three year old balance on a "big potty" and keep an 18 month old away from the potty? You're going to have to get right in there, and then you're going to have to scrub everyone's hands in the questionably clean public bathroom sink. But if it saves me some money on diapers, and by "saves" I do mean leaves me with extra money to spend on Ideeli, bring on the Tour De Public Restrooms.