Sunday, July 31, 2011

sunday mishmash

Okay. You guys? I think this might be it. For real, this time. I think Anderson might have a handle on this big boy bed thing (and it only took 48ish days, not that anyone was counting, OH WAIT I TOTALLY WAS). I channeled Supernanny on Wednesday, starting at nap time. I also started putting him down about an hour later for naps, and worked at creating a more peaceful wind-down time as well (dim lights + quiet play after Vivi went down + Jewel lullaby album.) (Buy it!) I repeated Supernanny at bedtime, but I also I hid the video monitor under his bed, so I a) didn't have to lay on the floor outside his door and b) was on him like white on rice the second so much as a single little tip-toe hit thefloor. By the next day, he was only getting up once or twice. Once, he dropped his blanket and let out an exasperated "OH, NO!" (I gave him a get-up hall pass for the blanket retrieval.) And the day after that? Not even one little toe out of his bed. Now, after he's read to and hugged and kissed and tucked in, he stays in his bed. For a couple hours at naptime, and for the most part, all night long as well. I'm feeling hopeful that The Big Stupid Effing Crib To Bed Transition may, at very long last, be winding down.

Switching topics, we had a truly wonderful visit from J's parents, best known as Mimi and Papaw 'round these parts. They escaped the Texas heat and rented an awesome lake cabin Mister A dubbed 'brown house'. ("Brown house now? Brown house please? Swimming brown house? Now? PLEASE BROWN HOUSE?") We swam and played and grilled and children museum'd the week away. We had a great night out with the kids at home with a sitter, catching up over margaritas and bar food. Best of all, watching our littles surrounded by all four of their loving grandparents? Pretty great stuff.

mimi, bug, mommo, bee

i want to freeze her at 17.5 months.
because she's superfab.

that's anderson's bear face.

papaw is a funfest!

total funfest.

mimi and vivi looking for fish.
or talking about shoes and pretties, probably.

The rest of the weekend was a winner as well. Minus the 12 hours we spent without electricity after a severe storm knocked out power (and had the kids and I huddling in the pitch black basement during what should have been nap time). No electricity means no running water. Which means GROSS. But we hit the lake with the familytoday and I'm pretty sure I could live with another three or four months of summer, even if it means the occasional power outage, because there's just nothing better than boating-in-the-sunshine-with-the-family-Sundays. Not even football-and-fat-pants-with-the-couch-Sundays.

Anyway. There you go. And here I go, to watch the Men Tell All. Which we all know after eighty five seasons means the men tell nothing, and we end up wondering why we wasted two hours of our lives on this. Who's it going to be tomorrow night, ladies? I cheated and read up on Reality Steve, so I'll refrain from commenting beyond saying WHO EVEN CARES ANYMORE?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

in which i talk about sleep for the eleventy billionth time

See that? It's the outside of Bug's door. Where I sat for thirty minutes just now, winning the "Nap v. No Nap" battle. I use the word "winning" in a totally tentative and non-jinxworthy way, of course. But he's in his bed and he's sleeping at nap time, which is more than I can say for any other day since Sunday. When he didn't nap. Like, at all. Which I handled really calmly. HAHAHAHAHA! Have we met?!? No, no I did not handle it calmly. I freaked out to my mom, to my husband, to The Lisa via email, to Dr. Google, to my cat, and then to my favorite mommy advice board where the mommies know evvvvverything. I mean, we'd just finally gotten his night sleep to a good place, and by good I do mean tenuously tolerable, and now his naps were going to shit?!? What if he stopped napping forever?!? (NOT OKAY NOT OKAY AT ALL PANIC PANIC PANIC.) In the end, after considering the wealth of helpful thoughts and tips from that assembly of advice givers, I decided two things. One: nap time needed to be a bit later. Two: I was going to have to go Supernanny on his ass. Which I did. We stayed up an hour later than usual, building block towers and reading books to a soothing toddler music soundtrack, then I put him into his bed. Then I put him back into his bed seven times, then he cried for twelve (painfully dragging) minutes in that bed, and then he went the eff to sleep. And I sat there staring at the door and not breathing until I was entirely certain he was sleeping and not, say, braiding his curtains into a rope with which to escape (he WOULD!) Then I got up, did a happy dance all the way down the stairs (complete with Zumba moves and a herkie jump at the bottom), and shoved a whole bowl full of MIL's guacamole in my face to reward myself for my awesomeness/dedication to the sleep needs cause.

Otherwise, everything is pretty great around here this week. We're having a lot of fun with Mimi and Papaw, I had such a great time on Monday night having drinks with my girlfriends that I gave myself a Pinot bath on accident (and made Ramona eyes), I'm going on a long awaited girlfriend vacation in 15 days, football season is happening (!), and my daughter is still letting me put stuff on her head. And thanks to my genius college friend Kelsey and her patented secret headband trick, there will be no shortage of pretties around here.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

iphone photo week in review: nine

he's scary good with that thing. bffs. friday night pizza pick up. mah mah mah mah mah mah mah p-pizza face. waiting for auntie. that bow. my favorite shopping buddy. the hodagcadile. muffin top maker. daddy returns.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

don't tell her i told you this

I don't want to say this too loudly or in an even remotely boastful manner, in fear of Miss V hearing me and pulling the plug on the whole deal ... but as of yesterday ... she's letting me put things on her head. Elasticky bow headbands, to be exact. Things that, when worn out in public for a few hours yesterday, netted us about ten "look at that cute little GIRL" type comments and exactly zero "hey, little buddy/little guy/dude/I want my throat punched" comments.
she calls these her "pwetties." and it's stupidcute.
she's also very into cleaning up.
she sees a mess and says "mess! no mess!"
have i told you lately that i love her?

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy Etsy all out of elasticky bow headband thingies.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

this week

This week, it was just mama and the kids, winging it. One night, we used the garden hose for a bath. We ignored the dust, the unvacuumed floors, the dishwasher that I forgot to run two nights in a row (because I was in a crap reality TV and ice cream trance, that's why). We watched the same (TOOKIE MONSTER!) episode of Sesame Street four days in a row because that's what the littles wanted. We ate Happy Meals one night and had a pizza night the next. Anderson wore mismatched pajamas because laundry was so not happening, and he happens to think Santa pajama pants go just fine with a race car pajama shirt, thankyouverymuch. I've got Miss V sleeping in the laundry room because I was THAT desperate for my bigger little to stop waking my littler little an hour before either of them had any business waking. (And okay, maybe it was comforting to have my baby girl ten feet away instead of all the way upstairs.) We lost the cat for one night, I slept with a wrought iron wreath hanger beside me in bed (to beat a burglar with), and yesterday I went to the Y just to walk 2mph on a treadmill and read my Kindle while someone else entertained my kids for an hour. Didn't break a sweat, did pick up my kids feeling refreshed. You see, J left for Texas on Wednesday to join his family in mourning the loss of his sweet Mamaw Mable. Much as I wanted to be with him and his family, we both knew the kids weren't making that kind of a trip, so behind I stayed. And not going to lie, I pulled out of the airport parking lot on Wednesday (with Anderson screaming and kicking at my seat because he wasn't on the plane with daddy and Vivian screaming because Anderson was screaming) wishing I had a paper bag to breathe into. Which I didn't, so instead I called my sister and went all "OMGZ four days ALONE with two kids what am I going to DO?!?" on her.

The thing of it is, it ended up being a pretty fun week. We missed J, of course, and I'm counting the minutes until his plane touches down in the woods (260 minutes!), but this week of solo parenting gave me a boost of confidence, I think. A week that showed me high standards (as far as housekeeping and mothering go, I mean) are sometimes kind of overrated, that sitting on the floor playing Little People is totally more important than scrubbing the mystery gunk off the kitchen counters. That yeah, you're bound to be tired if you start the day at 6:10am and run steady until the kids finally conk out at 7:30pm, but that you'll get up and do it again the next day, and actually kind of rock it. That it's still fun to have a chick flick and cookies sleepover with my sister. That Anderson actually CAN sit through a movie, as we found out Thursday when Mommo took him to hit up a matinee.

Anyway. That's where I've been. And now we prepare for a visit from Mimi and Papaw, and hopefully a week of great weather and catching up/playing/relaxing lakeside. Have a great weekend, internet!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


I was hanging at the very end of my rope last week. Could you tell? What was your clue? The toilet full of lady products or the 85th post on how I'd rather pluck my eyelashes out one by one than EVER move a kid to a toddler bed EVERAGAIN? But this week? Plenty of rope left between me and the end. I'm happy and relaxed and my head actually didn't explode this morning at 6:30am when I found that my (naked, like I even needed to tell you that) Bug had scaled his bedroom gate (WTF?) and busted into his (sleeping) sister's room to do a little naked wake up jig. I calmly put his naked little hiney back in his room and told him I'd be back for him when his green light came on, and enjoyed some quiet snuggle time with my still-sleepy baby girl. I'm 10x the mom I was last week, frankly. What did it? A few days away from the littles. Not even a few days - it was about 34 hours. But those were 34 rejuvinating hours, I tell you! My mom, being the saint that she is, kept our kids and sent J and I down to Madison. Shopping, wine, dinner at our favorite swanky downtown steakhouse, more wine, and some late-night reminiscing on the rooftop terrace of our wedding reception site (with a wine nightcap, obvi). And sleeping in! Until 8:20am, which is like NOON back in Mommyland! It was just what we needed - to feel, for 34 hours, like the young kids we were when we fell in love, with no worries of mid-night baby wakings or 6am bickers about who had to go deal with the nudey or frustrations of putting a well balanced meal on the table and then cleaning it up off the floor (where all well balanced meals end up). Just us two, one of our favorite cities, and sweet sweet freedom. Until mid-afternoon Sunday, when I looked at J and said "okay, I miss our babies, let's go home now." And we did, and there were happy faces all around. The time away was great and fun, but the welcome home hugs may have been the very sweetest part.

But anyway, I gotta go. ABC conveniently blacked out on us at 7 central last night, JUST as the only Bachelorette episode of the whole season that I actually care about was starting. My head may or may not have almost exploded and I also may or may not have requested that my husband call our TV provider and tell them I wanted a refund for the whole month because this is NOT the first time in recent history that such a thing has happened (MTV, last week, Tuesday night). He refused, for the record. Thankfully for Charter, I found the show on our On Demand and may NOT have to hunt them down and kick their shins. Close call.

Monday, July 18, 2011

iphone photo week in review: eight

that cat is having fun, he just doesn't know it. yeehaw. countryfesters. one of these things is not like the others. lockdown after 6:20am popsicle incident. loves. little bookworm. i never want to forget the playroom window bye-bye waving. so we went shopping duh. nice try scale. riesling with the birthday boy. nighty night madison.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

and then this morning

It seems somebody, somebody I won't name but somebody who is an adult who lives in this house (who is not of the feline variety, who is also not a dumb as a rock sheltie dog, and who also isn't ME), anyway, somebody didn't latch the gate in A's doorway when that somebody went up last night to check in on the littles before we went to bed. So this morning? I woke up at 6:20am to the sound of my bedroom door banging into the wall, like it was kicked in kung-fu style (because it was, I bet). And if THAT wasn't jarring enough, I open my eyes and my vision clears and what do I see? Anderson. Naked from the waste down, eating a popsicle. At 6:20am.

Oh and while I'm at here, I also think you should know that when we left the gym today, he removed his shoe and chucked it out the (moving) car window. Which was obviously not good, but it was also kind of hilarious. Apparently I'm losing my mind though, because it really WASN'T that funny, but I was trying so hard not to laugh that I choked on my gum. "SHOOOOO! MAMA! SHOOOOOOIN WOAD! WOAD! MAH SHOOOOO!"

Anyway. I'm going to go take a nap. After I read the Teen Mom recap over at I'm Bringing Blogging Back. If you don't already read it, but you are a Teen Mom fan (and now I know everyone who reads my blog IS, judging by the comments, which made me laugh out loud) ... you must read IBBB. Prepare to pee your britches.

EDIT/NOTE: I used "waste" when I meant "waist". It's official, I AM losing my mind. Oh, sad.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


This happened at 7:15am. What's that tell you about the kind of day we've had?
And now the whole wide web world knows I buy generic tampons. So?

I'm Crabby. Capital C. We're on day 39 of the Big Stupid Effing Crib To Bed Transition, aka, the never ending debacle that would've ruined Summer 2011 if it weren't for three things. One being my mom and sister here to offer support and the occasional relief in the form of taking my kids off my hands for ten seconds so I can do something fancy. Like go to Walmart for more tampons. Two being the fact that the weather, at least, has been perfectly behaved and offered plenty of opportunities to float our worries away aboard the yachtoon. Three being Mikearitas. Obvi. It's been THIRTY NINE days since he left the crib, yall. That's beyond the reasonable expectation for adaptation to a new bed, right? No? Yes? RIGHT? The clock helped him sleep past 5am, so I must be thankful for that, because while 6:30am still sucks, it sucks a whole lot less than 5am. But otherwise, there's just a lot of frustrating chaos for everyone unfortunate enough to be in our house around, say, 8pm. Screaming and refusing to stay in bed, which progresses to smashing the rocking chair into the wall over and over again, and one time, knocking the whole mattress and side rail off the bed platform. And then screaming a lot. And then, the next day, being a whiny crackpot because SURPRISE SURPRISE he's kind of TIRED. And then there's the waking of the sister, who does NOT respond well to these wakings, and who is tired because of these wakings. And a tired Vivi is not the finest version of the Vivi. Tired, teething Vivi? Have mercy.

I know these things are minor. I know this will pass (and that when it does, the crazy inside me will miss that summer when my teeny little Bug lost his teeny little mind). I know it's all part of being a mom and wearing big girl pants. So when my overtired toddlers are whining and fighting tooth and nail over the Swiffer Sweeper while I'm scraping a banana out of the toaster (true story), I lock myself in the bathroom and count to 10. I find ways to unwind when the house is finally, blessedly quiet (watching Teen Mom and drinking the aforementioned Mikearita and just being glad I'm not Gary), and most of all .... I grab hold of those moments where we come up for air and everyone's smiling and my babies hug each other and my whole body warms with this feeling of "yes! This! This is how it feels to love them so much I want to squeeze them until they POP!" But this past month has been a challenge. And I felt like I needed to get that out there, because it's hard to blog about the everyday tidbits without being honest about the big picture, you know? And also because I feel like it needs to get said that sometimes kids go insane when you move them to a bed. Because sometimes, I go on Facebook and see a picture of somebody's 16 month old in his new big boy bed, just snoozing away like he's been there his whole life, and I think "WHY?!? WHY is this so hard for us?!" I know, call the whaaaambulance, right? But for anyone reading whose kid maybe turned into an angry chimp during the Big Stupid Effing Crib To Bed Transition .... you're not alone, kemosabe.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

iphone photo week in review: seven

bug at the lake. mulligan at the lake. mommy and bug at the lake. i'd rather sniff stinky geraniums at the lake than look at you taking more pictures of me at the lake. septic pumping entertainment. playing dealership (all day every day). attack of the mascara wielding brother. not funny (was too). princess sparklepants rides on. little people garage sale jackpot.

Friday, July 8, 2011

a messy morning

Poor, poor little Princess Sparklepants. She's working on cutting an eye tooth that clearly hurts like a you-know-what. Wakes her during the night, makes mealtime more like crytime, and has had her feverish at least every other day. (Shut it, Dr. Pediatrician Man!) Then this morning, she puked. (Sayonara, Funday Friday plans! Hello, quarantine!) Into the bath little V went, and brother too, because it's not like he's missing out on a tubby opportunity even if there may be microscopic flecks of barf floating in that tubby. The tubby I just scrubbed sparkly clean yesterday, I'll have you know. I get them out of the tubby, I get the A dressed and V into a diaper before she wiggled off to play. (Barf? What barf?) Then, I took a two minute Diet Dew and Facebook break, because I earned it (BARF!) During this break I thought to myself "hmm....they're awfully quiet...." Which we all know means something is damaged beyond repair and/or someone is pooping. Back up the stairs I dashed ...... and I find Vivian looking like THIS:
How much do we love the look on her face? You know she's trying to tell us her brother did this. And he totally did - the proof was all over his jet black hands that he was trying to hide under his blankie, but his poker face pretty much sucks. Busted.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

funny faces

As if I needed another reason to love Jackie and Robbie's wedding .... then came these. Courtesy of Ruby Photography and the brilliant Jackie, who put all these getups together for the most entertaining "photo booth" of all time.

making our vivian faces.

just us, a couple of cousinfriend kitties.

bug and his grandpa. in hats.

it was past vivi's bedtime.
and she's maybe just not that into mustaches.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

4th of july

What's not to love about summer? I mean, really? The sunscreen scented babies, the white blonde of A's summer hair, V's teeny tiny pink painted toenails in a pair of strappy sandals, the grill getting more use than the oven, my swimsuit tan line at the end of a long weekend on the lake, where each day was more blissfully perfect than the one before it. A beauty routine minimized to a swipe of mascara and some spf10 lip balm. Even A's little summer-scraped knees, the kind of knees you get from getting out there and playing your heart out. The feeling that we've got to gobble this all up, every sunny warm popsicle-melting minute of it between sun up and sundown, before it slips away into red and gold treetops and we shift our focus to football and fuzzy sweaters.

And the 4th of July? Totally the sweet spot of all that summer loving.
The duo-photo eludes me once again.
At least they're both looking at the camera.

iphone photo week in review: six

fire truck driver. cuffed. midnight snack. pool boy. are you threatening me (ten cool points if you can name that 90s tv show). best brother ever delivers cfa. blooming. cats like fireworks, too. sprouting. but not down with those just yet.