You really haven't lived until you've been told to "shut up" by a three year old while pushing a cart through the grocery store containing a two year old with a black eye. Oh, and you're noticeably pregnant and OH ALSO you forgot your wedding band, so you just look like an unwed baby factory with unruly and beaten kids.
In fact, she's not beaten (which I hope is, like, DUH). Poor baby girl fell out of her crib on Saturday at nap time. The worst part? There was no crying immediately after the big boom I heard from above. Can we all say "heart attack?" By the time I sprinted up the stairs and made it to her door she'd let out a scream, and I found her sitting on the floor beside her crib with her hand up to a little bruise on her forehead. She was upset for a few minutes, then requested a favorite book and a return to her crib. But by the time she woke up from her nap later that day, the little bruise had turned into a goose egg AND a black eye. Perfect.
Sidenote: you're probably wondering "what? I thought she had a crib tent?" Oh, she does. A crib tent with a big hole cut out of the side. Because a few Saturdays before this fateful Saturday, I'd gone to get her up from her nap and found the zipper stuck shut. No amount of force would unstuck it, and after ten minutes of attempting to make it budge, let's just say Miss Vivi was NOT CALM. So I took a scissor to the netting and set baby girl free. Then emailed the company politely requesting a replacement (after trying to call and finding all voicemail boxes full). Then emailed again, a smidge less politely. Then emailed AGAIN and threatened to share with every mom I know what a crap product said company makes if they continued to ignore my requests for assistance. I'm a woman of my word: do not, do not, do NOT purchase a thing from Tots in Mind. Particularly, do not purchase this crib tent unless you want a useless POS from a company who ignores their customers. Got that? NO TOTS IN MIND or we're DONE. Looking at their reviews of late, this was no fluke, either.
Anyway. I don't even have the heart to share a picture (obviously I took a picture) because it's just too, too sad. But Vivi's unfazed. Tough cookie, that girl.
The boy? You guys? What do you do about mouthy three and a half year olds? "Shut up"?!? I asked him politely not to take a bite out of the green pepper in the cart (why would he even want to?) and bam. Shut up. Sad to say, it wasn't the first time that day I'd heard it, either. Generally, we've had good luck disciplining with the skills we picked up in '1, 2, 3 Magic'. Usually I get as far as "2" and he drops whatever craziness he'd been up to and after a moment, returns to his sweet Buggy self. But the past few days he's started mouthing off and I tell you what, I consider myself someone with a loooooot of patience with my kids, but NOT for that kind of disrespect. We watch our mouths around him, I swear we do, but who isn't guilty of a "shut UP?!?" when you're meaning "no WAY?" As in: "Shut UP! Tori Spelling is pregnant AGAIN?!" But apparently a three year old isn't up on slang and just takes away that it's a-okay to tell people to "SHUT UP". So, mamas, how do you handle this? Part of me thinks ignoring it might be key, because by reacting I'm giving the words even more power .... but it's tough to ignore that. Or maybe it was a one day special, yesterday only. Please be that.
And also, I'm cold. Upper 40s after a week of 70s does not a happy me make. Or happy cats, either. One's under the covers in my bed at this very moment.
The good news is, 16&P comes back to my life tonight. It'll give me something to do while I polish my Mother Of The Year trophy. Ay caramba.