I'm pretty certain I just took my last solo trip to the grocery store with both kids until .... forever? Until they're in junior high and can push the cart? Or at least, no trips with a list containing greater than five items until I'm no longer a lumbering sweaty cranky mess with a lowered threshold for stress.
First, there's the dum-dum suckers. They're at the entrance to the store, and the kids get one when we go. It usually keeps them quiet and on acceptable behavior. They get three warnings to behave before the dum-dum goes bye-bye. Today, we got as far as the baking supply aisle before Anderson got to warning #3. Because you don't grab stuff off the shelves and throw it into the cart when you're 3, that's why. Last warning, away went the sucker. Temper tantrum ensues. Consequences suck, right?! Then some old hag took it upon herself to tsk tsk her way up beside our cart and heap pity upon my screaming kid. "Oh! You poor little boy! I can't believe your mommy did that, it wasn't very nice, she should give it back! Right?!" Yall. If looks legit killed? She didn't make it to the check out line.
The whole trip was a bunch of equally nonsensy nonsense, likesuchas Vivi having a fit because I wouldn't let her take her clothes off and Vivi having a fit because I wouldn't let her eat the bag of chocolate chips and Vivi kicking her feet at my belly and Vivi having a fit because .... she's 2 1/2? .... and culminating the the ultimate nonsense. Apparently while I was distracted with the self check-out machine (because every other check-out had 45 people in line, THAT'S WHY), one of the kids unscrewed the cap off of one of our milk jugs. And I didn't notice. And I pushed the cart out across the bumpy parking lot and loaded both kids into the car before noticing that 1/4 of the milk from that jug was splattered all over our cloth grocery bags, down the insides, and onto our groceries. FABULOUS. So guess who stood out in the 150% humidity with a pack of baby wipes wiping down her affected bags and grocery items one by one and sweating profusely while her kids yelled from their car seats about how HOT they were (in the air conditioned vehicle with vents right on top of their pretty little heads), because it was THAT or having a car smell like sour milk FOREVER AND EVER, that's why.
So there was all that and there was a big stressy meltdown about the whole, you know, moving far far away with all these kids and pets and THINGS and not even being 100% entirely sure where we'll BE one month from today or what state my baby will be born in. In under 10 weeks. UNDER 10 WEEKS.
After all that .... there was this. And this was good.
And everything else is good, too.
(Just, you know, hormones and poor sleep and motherhood andsuch.)
1 hour ago